Product:
Kleenex For Men Tissues
Date: 11/02/04 (2086 review reads)
Rating:
Advantages: Absorbs Snot, Sweat & Sperm, Soft & Gentle, Affordable
Disadvantages: None!
There are many wonderful uses for these magnificent 2-ply tissues that can be purchased in twin pack at 100 per box for a cost of around £3. I have found that they are best at absorbing three of my body fluids which I produce and discharge in large quantities on a regular basis. These fluids are snot, sweat and sperm.
SNOT
When you have a runny nose, you should use a tissue to clean your nose. Some people prefer to use a handkerchief or a shirt sleeve or one’s own hand. I disapprove of all of those three. You may well ask why and so I shall tell you. In all three cases, you do not dispose of your snot after you wipe your nose and this can cause social problems as I have found.
With a handkerchief, you carry your nasal discharge around with you in your pocket. If you happen to stick your hand into your pocket after a big blow, your fingers may get a wet surprise. Even worse, I keep my coins in my pocket and having a snot-filled handkerchief in with my coins creates a messy, metallic mixture that does not please my local merchants. They do not seem to like it when I hand them snot encrusted coins to pay for things. They generally drop the coins in disgust and yell at me and tell me never to come in ever again. This is a most unpleasant experience.
A shirtsleeve is a practical approach, but then you are wearing your snot on your sleeve. This is not necessarily a bad thing for I do not mind the sight of snot. However, I once wiped my nose on my shirtsleeve and then my boss came into the room. He had with him his supervisor and introduced us. When I extended my hand to shake, the supervisor recoiled in horror for he saw on my shirtsleeve the remnants of my nose wipe and was repulsed. The lesson: do not wipe your nose on your shirtsleeve if you are going to shake hands with someone. The person may
notice and he may not like it.
Finally, with respect to one’s own hand, I do not have that big of a problem with this, except in terms of cleaning the hands. I have often used my hands to blow my nose, but afterwards what does one do with the sticky residue? I usually just wipe my hands on my trousers and carry on. However, no matter how much one wipes, your hands always remain sticky. This again causes problems when shaking hands with others or when you want to eat some crisps and they stick to your hands. This is not fun and probably not the most hygienic of situations. However, it can add a little extra flavouring to one’s crisps. This unique taste can actually make for an interesting eating experience if you are willing to give it a try.
The best solution when you need to wipe your nose is to use a tissue for when you are done wiping your nose you can dispose of the tissue and your hands and shirtsleeves remain clean. These tissues offered by Kleenex are soft and gentle on the nose. They are wonderful for blowing the nose for they are not abrasive and will not cause redness. They are also strong so as to handle the most powerful of blows and absorbent to withstand the greatest of runny nasal discharges. I have never had a breakage using these tissues, even when I have had the most volcanic of nose conditions and the snot was cascading out of my nasal passages like Victoria Falls.
SWEAT
I have also found these tissues to be tremendously useful in non-nose-related situations. For example, I suffer from great perspiration problems (as I mentioned in my first review on dooyoo, I sweat a great deal, like a filthy, stinky pig). I have found the softness and absorptive nature of these tissues to be of great assistance to me in dealing with my perspiration problems in the area of my genitals and buttocks
. In order to combat the sweat in these areas, I will stick several handfuls of tissues down my crotch and into the crevice of my bum. Besides feeling soothing and comforting, these tissues also absorb a great deal of sweat. Since I sweat so much, I usually need to change the tissues four or five times a day, but they certainly do work. Before I started using tissues to surround my genitals and in the crevice of my bum, I would have large sweat marks in the front and rear of my trousers and that could prove to be most embarrassing. Now, I do not have the sweat marks at all. The only negative with this solution is that it sometimes disturbs people in my office or in the shops or on the street when I stop, drop my trousers, remove the tissues (smelling them to check on the odor situation down below), dispose of the used tissues, and then shove handfuls more of tissues down my genital area and buttocks before pulling back up my trousers.
SPERM
Another excellent use for these tissues is as a condom. Again, the strength of the tissues and their absorptive capabilities come into play as well as their softness on the skin. When I run out of condoms or want some softer protection, I will grab about ten of these lovely tissues....
77% of men say they think it is more socially acceptable to be seen crying.
